Baby Kaden! :) : My Birth Story :)

I would like to preface this with the fact that I have non-standard views on childbirth and parenting. My husband calls me a hippy mom at least once a week. Basically I'm all about natural birth, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, and apparently co-sleeping (this was not my original plan b/c it kind of freaks me out, but my little guy definitely prefers sleeping with his mama). Basically I'm just saying this because I want to emphasize that these are MY personal choices, but I don't expect everyone to have the same views. As long as you're not abusing/neglecting your children, you do you. Also, I should add that I'm no fan of pain. My pain threshold is actually pretty low. Apparently promising me a baby changes everything...
Wednesday I had an appointment with my midwife scheduled for 3:00. After weeks of prodromal labor and pain, I was completely ready to get this show on the road. Her policy is not to allow you to go over 41 weeks without doing something to help labor, because risks start to increase as you get too far over. She gave me Cervadil at my appointment, which is used to soften the cervix and can lead to contractions if you're ready. I had been having a lot of pressure and cramping the night before, so I started having contractions while they were monitoring Kaden for 2 hours after I got the medicine. When the observation finished, she told me to go get something to eat, try to sleep, and call if things picked up. My parents had come to the appointment and they took us to dinner (at this truly awful Mexican buffet...Ranchero King Buffet, I think? I do NOT recommend it, but I digress...). I was having some pain and pressure there, but nothing too serious. On the way home, I was absolutely miserable. I was totally miserable in the car for the last few weeks, though, so I figured he was just moving in a bad way. When we got home I was still really uncomfortable, so I asked Shane to go buy some water and Powerade while I took a shower so I'd be able to hydrate if things kept up. Well, the shower didn't help. When I got out it literally felt like someone was putting a white-hot sword into my cervix. I couldn't get comfortable no matter what I did. They didn't feel like contractions as they'd been described to me, so I was kind of freaking out. It got to the point where the only thing helping was bearing down, and I was seriously starting to think he was going to be born in my bathroom. I tried sitting on my exercise ball and when I stood up, my water started leaking. At that point, Shane went to call my midwife. She prefers you labor at home until you're around 5cm, which makes sense, but I felt like my contractions weren't letting up at all so I couldn't time them correctly. She told Shane to put me in the tub and time my contractions for an hour and call her back, then we'd probably be headed in. The contractions got insane at that point. I'm pretty sure my neighbors think Shane was murdering me, and Roscoe was super freaked out. Shane timed them for a little while then said he was going to call Kathy (my midwife) back. Apparently my contractions were only 2 minutes apart (they're typically supposed to be 5-7 minutes apart when you head in). He left that part out so I wouldn't be more freaked out, but I was complaining that I wasn't getting enough time in between them. Somehow I managed to miss all the reasonably-far-apart contractions. However, that basically put me into Transition (aka the WORST part of labor) in the car. That was a pretty awful 30ish minutes. Shane did a really good job of driving fast enough for me not to freak out more but close enough to the speed limit not to get pulled over. *high five* We finally got to the birth center at what I THINK was around 11:00. I had zero interest in time by that point. My doula (birth coach) came down to meet us and immediately told me I needed to calm down and relax. To which I basically thought "WTF I don't think that's possible". lol However, once I listened to her and relaxed my shoulders and refocused my breathing, I was at least able to make it upstairs (not that I actually climbed stairs... I would have just delivered in the parking lot if that was the case. Haha). She took me to the exam room and my midwife came in to check how far along I was. She said my water hadn't broken but she could do it. They put down a more absorbent pad and she reached in and popped it with what I'm pretty sure was just her fingers. Usually they use this weird crochet hook thing, but apparently mine were just already about to burst. Then she said I was 9cm, and we were all like "whaaaa?!" Then I had to walk down the hall, which felt like a million miles, while my midwife went to fill the tub. Shane helped me get undressed and in the tub. This is where I lost track of most of what was happening outside of the tub. My contractions were coming with no break and I was having a hard time keeping it together. Shane kept asking if it was okay for Lisa to come in but I couldn't get a break to answer and apparently I shushed him. Lisa finds that hilarious. lol Finally I said they could bring everyone in. Both my parents, Marlen and Krystin were there. My dad had never gotten to see any children/grandchildren born b/c we were all c-sections, so he was really excited. I started pushing pretty soon after that (probably close to midnight). My body just completely took over and I pushed when I felt like it and had time to rest and breathe in between. He was sunny-side up, so I started getting back labor. Since I was so annoyed with everyone talking about back labor while I was in the hospital, as soon as she said the words "back labor", everyone jumped in and told her not to. She just rubbed my back and tracked the baby's movement down my lower spine. I felt like he was NEVER going to get all the way down. At this point I had moved into a sitting/squatting position to try to relieve the back pressure. She had to keep reminding me to push down instead of using my throat. It was hard not to scream, but I eventually got into a rhythm and started concentrating on breathing. She had me flip back over so she could check the baby's heart rate, then she went to work with the other girl that had just had her baby. I got super focused on pushing and apparently got really quiet. She came back in right as I started crowning and said "Oh goodness! We're having the baby!" and everyone started freaking out. I personally could have told them I was crowning, but no one asked me. lol. Anna ran out to get my midwife. She came in (apparently with her hair all a mess b/c she'd been napping) and sat next to the tub and just waited. Everyone was gathered around watching him come out and I was getting jealous because I couldn't see over my belly. Kathy grabbed a mirror and let me see. I was in awe and simultaneously completely convinced he would never come out. It looked like there was barely anything coming out and I knew his head was huge. She put the mirror away and about 30 seconds later his head literally exploded out. It scared me and apparently I jumped back. Kathy leaned in and told me I had to keep pushing (thankfully this is the only time she told me to push, the rest was up to me and my body). My stomach was killing me from all the pushing, so it hurt, but I kept pushing. It was, by far, the strangest sensation I've ever experienced. It felt like a ton of fluid gushing out, rather than a baby. It might have just been because he was so squishy. I have no idea. It was weird, but amazing. Then she laid him on my chest and I started crying. [As she pulled him up, my first thought was literally "Thank God for malleable head bones" ... he looked like an alien, but there's no way I would have gotten his 14.5 inch head out any other way] I was so exhausted and relieved. He grabbed Shane's finger as soon as he came out. Luckily, my dad caught it on camera. It was such a priceless moment. He let out this tiny little cry, then proceeded to just lay there all chill and kind of freaked Kathy out. She picked him up and started rubbing him with a rag to make him mad. He was SO calm, though. I think the fact that his birth in general was so calm helped him. She finally got him to cry a little and he started getting redder instead of purple. He was super gooey and covered in vernix, but he looked absolutely perfect to me. Once the cord stopped pulsing, they clamped it and Shane was able to cut it. They handed him to Shane while I got out of the tub. I didn't notice the water until I stood up, and I thought "dear God what happened?!" lol. I can't imagine the mess that would have made on a bed. Krystin, Marlen, and Lisa helped me out of the tub. I was shaking uncontrollably from all the exertion and adrenaline. I went to the bed and laid down to deliver the placenta and such. I'm not going to lie, that felt incredible. Such a relief. I got a small shot of pictocin in my hip to help prevent hemorrhaging. I didn't notice that much. Then she checked for tearing. That was always the thing about childbirth that I feared most, because I imagined that you could feel it happen. Turns out I did tear and I definitely didn't feel anything. She said I would need 2 stitches, and sent my doula to get the stuff. Shane came over with the baby and they put him on my chest to calm me down and regulate both of our body temperature. She gave me a shot to numb the area and spent the most terrifying 30ish minutes of my life stitching me up. I have no idea what all she had to do but she kept saying "just one more, and I'll be done" and then kept stitching. I feel bad now because I was not an easy patient at that time, but someone having a needle in such a sensitive area is kind of horrifying. She was like "You know, when we were learning to do this, they had us use chicken breasts. They definitely should have had us practice on a moving target." Whoops! She finally finished stitching and got everything covered up. I turned on my side so he could breast feed. He latched like a pro and stayed there for a good hour and a half. My birth team was pretty exhausted by this point, so they told us to get some sleep and went to try to nap themselves. Shane, Krystin, Marlen, and Kaden all passed out. I laid there and watched Kaden sleep because he was SO precious (plus I had to check his breathing every 2 minutes, because I'm neurotic like that). He slept like a champ and never cried. Another lady gave birth around 4:30. She sounded like a banshee, but she beasted that kid out in like 5 minutes. Crazy!
All in all, it was the perfect experience. I'm so glad I chose a birth center. My midwife was amazing, as was my doula. My midwife actually came in to talk to me the next morning and said "I knew your husband was a big baby and that y'all were concerned, but I did NOT expect him to be that big! I'm really glad you got him out without any trouble." Thank God for child bearing hips! I'm not sure it would have been any easier if he was smaller, honestly. Not that I have any frame of reference, as I will probably never have a normal size baby. Haha. However, after all the time I spent fighting with my body, it feels really awesome to know I can grow and birth a human being. And a perfect little human being he is! <3